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Q: How long does it take to kill a baby in a microwave?
A: How the fuck should I know? I was too busy masturbating.
Q: How do you get 1000 babies in a phone booth?
A: Liquify them in a blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Nachos.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A:Juliana Wetmore
Q: What should you do when your baby is stuck in a blender?
A: Use a straw.
Q: What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies?
A: You can't unload bowling balls with a pitch fork
Q: How long does it take to paint a room with dead babies?
A: Depends how hard you throw em.
Q:What is funnier than a dead baby?
A:A dead baby next to a kid with down syndrome
Q: What's the difference between babies and grannies?
A: Grannies don't die when you fuck them in the ass.
Q: What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a porsche?
A: I don't have a porsche in my garage.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and an apple?
A: I don't cum all over an apple before I eat it.
Q: What's the difference between a dead baby and a table?
A: You can't fuck a table.
Q: What's funnier than a dead baby?
A: A dead baby in a clown suit!
Q: What's grosser than gross?
A: A pile of 100 dead babies.
Q: What's even grosser than that?
A: The live one at the bottom trying to eat it's way out.
Q: What's even grosser than that?
A: When it goes back for seconds.
Q: What do you get when you mix a dead baby,and a pint of cum?
A: LUNCH!
Q: What do you get when you slit a baby's throat?
A: An erection.
New mother in maternity ward: "Doctor, doctor, is my baby alright?"
Doctor: "Well, there's good news and bad news. The bad news It was ginger."
New mother: "How could there possibly be any good news?"
Doctor: "its dead."
Q: What's the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby?
A: Dead baby doesn't stick to the roof of your mouth.
Q: What is this vessel im putting your baby into?
A: A blender
"You've got to see what your baby is doing!" shouted the doctor as he burst out of the delivery room and into the waiting room. "What?!" yelled the child's father as he leapt to his feet. "He's literally FLYING around the delivery room! Here, I'll show you!" replied the doctor as he shot back into the delivery room. A few seconds later, he emerged with the baby in his arms. "Watch!" he shouted and tossed the baby into the air. The baby landed on the tile with a thud. "What the Hell?!" the guy started to shout, but the doctor interrupted with, "No, wait, watch this!" and he scooped the baby up and threw him harder. WHAM! The baby bounced off the wall and plopped to the floor, again. "Oh, my God!" shouted the man, and started to grab at the doctor. "No! He was doing it earlier," protested the doctor, "Watch this!" He again scooped the baby up, flung open the waiting room window and hurled the baby four stories down where it splattered onto the sidewalk. Enraged, the man clutched at the doctor's throat and pinned him against the wall. "WHAT IN THE HELL DID YOU JUST DO TO MY BABY?!?!" He screamed. "Relax," laughed the doctor, "It was a stillborn."
Onett
Looks like it's about to rain as I look through my window while typing this.
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