Gendo's News


It was 12: 46 PM in the afternoon, and Gary was just waking up for a good wank, before doing his daily routine of fucking around on the Internet. In the middle of his wank; his mother came in his room, and startled him; Gary's mother who was use to this kind of behaviour just smiles and said

"Gary, pull your pants up, and come into the kitchen for a moment, we I have some good news too tell you." Looking puzzled, Gary did what his mother asked and made his way to the kitchen. Gary, who was 15, was rather tall for his age, and quite handsome to those who could see it, his curly brown hair, and his peach-fuzz moustache seemed to suit him rather well. When Gary arrives in the kitchen he sees his mother holding a plane ticket, and a man, dressed in black, holding a cane. This man was none other than Gregory House. Gary stared in disbelief; thinking about all the things he wanted House to do to him acts of violent, rough sexual intercourse.

"Well this is a fine afternoon isn't it?" spoke House, in which Gary replied with:

"OH MY GOD TAKE MY VIRGINITY NOW ON THI- I mean, hello; what brings you to Cape Breton? And mom, what is that plane ticket for?

"Spare me your inquiries, you're mother doesn't know who sent the ticket, I'm here because I unfortunately have an illegitimate child who needs child support, and who found out that you've got a plane ticket."

"Oh" Gary said "but who's your child, and that doesn't quite explain why you're her, in my house; with your pants still on, when they should be off; and your penis in my mouth, but that's another story. Where am I going anyways?"

"It says on this ticket, Vancouver, British Columbia" Gary's mother said, all of a sudden someone came out of nowhere and kneed Gary in his lower back. Gary immediately screamed "FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKK" at the top of his lungs. When Gary looked up he saw his idiot friend Dennis.

"Hah, Gary, nice to see you otaku faggot." Said Dennis, "We're going to have so much fun in BC"

"What, you're coming too? God kill me now so I don't have to board a plane with his retarded behaviour." Gary replied.

"This would explain your question, who is my child, unfortunately, this half-brain is my child; I should stop mixing wine with Percocet, boy I get quite drunk. Which also explains why I'm in your house; I must escort you to the airport, and obviously this comes as a shock to you, because we must catch the plane 4 hours from now, so hurry the fuck up and pack, I have to get back here for time with your mother." Said House.

Gary's mother was instantly blushing, and Gary just looked in disapproval.

"Goddammit mother, why are you fucking House? I should be fucking House? ARGHHHHHH, alright, one more question? How did Dennis find out before I did?" said Gary

Gary's Mother said, " I ran into him and his mother at the store, where I brought up the ticket; Dennis looked shocked, and I believe when I left, Dennis was begging his mother too go."

"This is where my ass comes in" House said, "Dennis' mother phoned me saying she needed a favour, so I bought him a ticket to Vancouver, so the little brat couldn't pester her. So hurry up, and pack, we have to get going shortly, because we leave from Halifax International in fucking 3 and a quarter hours"

Gary left the kitchen, and went back to his room

--MEANWHILE IN BC--

Matt was on his computer watching various episodes of Azumanga Daioh on tv links, and was laughing his ass off repeatedly.

"Oh Yukari-sensei, your antics are always top notch, and you're hot to boot. . . AERIS DIES TIME."

Matt opened a new tab up in FireFox, went to AerisDies, typed in Azumanga in the search engine, and all of a sudden the words "Timed Out" appear on the computer screen.

"Fucking Aeris! You piece of shit." Exclaimed Matt.

"Screw it, I'm going out. Take the royal fuck my parents are away this weekend because they would get pissed if I went out at 9 in the morning.*"

: *Authors note, Gary lives in Nova Scotia, which is a 4 hour time span from where Matt lives, BC. So to prevent retards getting confused READ THIS.

Matt let his apartment condo, and went looking for something to do. Matt was a 5 foot 8 inches, 18-year-old man living in Langley, BC. Brown hair, blue-eyed beautiful man who looked like he could tap pussy every night, and day. But was too much of a lazy bastard, and realist to consider the option of fucking chicks. Why? Well Matt has the philosophy that to get woman, you must have a job, and money.
Matt was walking to mall in hopes to buy an album by The Swans when he over heard some talking. Matt looked around, and saw practically no one. Matt then heard the word "oh yes" and it boggled his mind. Matt then noticed a large tree next to an even larger tree; usually Matt would ignore this, but something about the voice was familiar. Matt then heard a cry of "AHHHHHHHHHHH PEEPER" and a person fell out of the tree.

"Ow, that was worth it" said the man "Oh, hello there you strolling about?"

"Actually... I was on my way to the..." Matt stopped there and noticed the man was wearing a blue suit, with a loosened red tie, and was wearing round coke-bottle glasses. He also had shaggy black hair, and his mouth was opened all the way. Matt then noticed a young half naked woman in a building next to the tree where the man fell out of. She looked about 15 years old, she was yelling and screaming at the top of her lungs.

"Pervert, Pervert" she yelled

"Um, shouldn't we get out of here?" Matt said, with a bizarre expression on his face.

"Oh, so you're right, it was worth it though to see those marvellous tits. By the way, I'm Mr. Kimura."

Matt look startled, when he heard that name he was flabbergasted.

"Kimura you say." Said Matt.

"Yes, that's correct." Replied Kimura.

"The same Kimura from Azumanga Daioh?" Matt Said.

"Why, yes I have no idea how I ended up here but I like all the pretty young girls so I have no intention of going back to a work of fiction just yet, even if it means forgetting my family, and my beloved KAORIN*."

: *In Azumanga Daioh, Kimura's favourite student is a girl named Kaorin and in Kimura's introduction he became a teacher because he likes high school girls. That's all I'm explaining, watch Azumanga Daioh for yourself and find out more.

"Well, talk about foreshadowing" Matt Said.

"Sorry, I didn't catch that" said Kimura. At the moment the women in the building threw a bag of empty aluminium cans onto Matt's head causing him to react explosively.

"YOU STUPID FUCKING CUNT THOSE MAY BE CANS BUT THEY HURT" Matt Yelled.

"HEY YOU PERVERTS GET OUT OF HERE BEFORE I PHONE THE COPS ON YOU" The Woman replied

"Ah fuck this, I'm going to HMV before I get my ass beat by cops, you know they always keep a n*gga down." Matt said in an expression of a black man

"Wait." Kimura said.

"What is it?" Matt replied.

"Could I have those cans?" Kimura said.

"Take them, they're yours." Matt answered as he handed Kimura the cans.

"Thank you." Kimura said. "Also, take this card I found in my pocket when I woke up in this world"

Matt took the card, which said 'The Revolution Inc' in big letters, and on the back it said in small letter 'bringing the obscure to reality' and he walked away.

Matt then said "Well, this looks like foreshadowing, but IT'S GIRA TIME!"

End Chapter 1


THIS JUST IN

2007-07-18 23:35:41 by Gendo

Girouette is a faggot with no balls, he's just so HERDCOER for banning me from commenting on his horrendously stupid news posts.

No one gives a fuck if it'll be loli or not, live with that fact.


BLARGH

2007-07-18 22:58:30 by Gendo

I'm God.

Discuss.

BLARGH